Just to be clear, if I'm ever invited to have oatmeal at your house, be advised that I have at least three oatmeal limitations. First, I'm not a fan of microwaveable faux oatmeal. It contains so many chemicals that I always worry about a universe-ending explosion when cooking it. Second, my oatmeal has to be made using the "old fashioned" rolled oats, not the ground-to-a-pulp "quick" oats that have no substance, taste, or reason for existence. Third, I won't eat oatmeal without salt. The salt (which is always listed as an optional ingredient on the box) is what makes the flavor "pop." Warning: most restaurants and hotels with the complimentary breakfast buffets don't put salt in their oatmeal. Such an inhumane action is probably not worthy of a boycott or class action lawsuit, but do be aware that you'll need to salt your own oatmeal. However, it should be a criminal offense when they (and you know who you are!) try to pass off the faux oatmeal as "homemade" or "freshly made."
Shortly after moving to the East Coast, I wrote of my passion for oatmeal in a piece that I submitted to National Public Radio's "This I Believe" project. I now believe they didn't care much for it because it was kindly rejected in that soft-spoken NPR way by someone with one of those delightfully inimitable NPR-type names, like Dharma Chung-Nunberg. Nonetheless, I liked the piece and I'm going to publish it here anyway. (Ha, take THAT, Dharma!)
I believe in
the magic of oatmeal. My palate prefers
the old-fashioned, whole grained oatmeal, but the magic of oatmeal transcends
its form.
As a child, a steaming bowl of oatmeal, generously trimmed
with farm-fresh cream and mounds of sugar, seemed to warm the kitchen of our
Iowa farmhouse. On frigid February
mornings the oil-burning stove at the end of the kitchen strained against the
toe-numbing cold. Yet the oatmeal warmed
me inside-out and seemed to mystically radiate throughout the drafty
house. On those mornings of school bus
windows frosted-over for the entire ride into town, I still remained warm and
satisfied until the noon bell signaled my daily race with best friend Mark down the
steps to the basement lunchroom.
As a young man and new father I introduced my baby boy to oatmeal’s
magic. Having wrestled him into his high
chair and locked him into place, I’d begin the morning breakfast routine. He’d strain against the unyielding high chair
and vocalize his hunger. I’d mix his
oatmeal with just enough water of just the right temperature. As the first spoonful of the oat concoction
reached his lips he’d begin to emit a low “mmmm” sound. He would eat and coo, and I’d whisper to him
of his goodness and strength and my love for him. For the next several minutes we were
connected, father and son, by the warmth and satisfaction of oatmeal. These early bonding moments have been built
upon through the years as he grew and became a man and I, well, became just an
older man.
Today, for the first time in my life, I live far from both
the farmhouse and the son. Preparing to move from Des Moines to Washington last
December I gave away nearly every food item in my kitchen. Except my near new box of oatmeal. Upon arrival I unpacked it and shelved it in
a cabinet where I couldn’t miss it. The
following morning it became my first meal in my new home.
Middle age demands I eat oatmeal more for its physical
benefits today and, sadly, trim it less generously now, using limited amounts of brown sugar and
skim milk. As the morning’s first
spoonful triggers my taste-buds, it also triggers my memory. It takes me back to winter mornings in which
I remained warm despite the bitter cold. Even more it warms me with the memory of being a dad. It transports me back to a series of
wonderful mornings when my son and I became a part of each other through the
magic of oatmeal. I can close my eyes
and recall the sounds, sights, smells, and smiles of those moments. When I open them I realize it is only a
memory and, even more, realize it won’t happen again.
Or will it? Who
knows…in the latter stages of my life I may be the one who coos as my son
lovingly feeds me my oatmeal. By then,
cream and sugar really shouldn’t be a factor in my longevity…so be generous, my
son.